


like sleep to the freezing

by forgettingthedetails



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Catching Fire, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hunger Games Tributes, I just want characters to be happy, Kinda Romance, Oral Sex, POV swapping, Post-Coital Cuddling, fake lovers to real lovers, please let me have this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-03-02 19:19:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18817351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgettingthedetails/pseuds/forgettingthedetails
Summary: Alone on the train, Katniss and Peeta reconsider their relationship and what they can do to take back their relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

Just being back on the train made Katniss sick to her stomach. It was so clean and it smelled so fresh, even her home, easily one of the nicest in her whole district, was nothing in comparison to just how bougie the train they had them on for the victory tour was. There were enough staff people scattered around her to comprise a small army. The walls were cleaned perfectly. Each space was decorated immaculately with a combination of classically styled pieces and technology that provided its riders with even more luxury than was already given to them. How could some people live like this when others are starving? Katniss thought, how could I let myself live like this when others are starving?

Of course, she gave back to her community whenever possible, and she was going on this victory tour not only for obligation but so that maybe she would be given the opportunity to apologize to the families of those who were not so fortunate in the arena. Or perhaps more fortunate. Being given the chance to say a few words, to share with them in their pain, maybe, could ease some of her own. The money helped her family for sure but Katniss couldn't help but feel like this version of her life, the one where she is the winner of the games is the worst possible timeline. If it weren't for her family she would have wanted to be dead. If it weren’t for these horrific, cruel “games” maybe she could have lived in her happy semblance of normalcy for the rest of her life. Then she wouldn't have been responsible for all of this talk of a rebellion, and she could go into the woods with Gale and hunt and go back at night and sleep and wake up and do it all over again. She wasn't even permitted to do much of that anymore. Once a week she could hunt, ever since Gale started working in the mines. And at night after not having to work to put food on the table, when she would rest her head against the pillow that someone bought for her that was more money than she had ever dreamt of before, snuggled in her silken pajamas in her heated home, Katniss rarely slept. Nightmares plagued her. The dead haunted her in the space of her dreams. The games really only gifted her with the ability to realize what she once had.

They had just eaten dinner and it was getting late. She hadn't seen Peeta around in a bit but that wasn't unusual. Their relationship, though better than it once was, was rocky at best. After very little consideration she opted to hop in the shower. Really, the only other option to fill her time was to watch capital TV which is something she had always preferred not to do. Back at home, before her victory, the TV only turned on when it was mandatory. When the people of the district were forced to watch the games or a news PSA. And, where capital citizens had to choice of watching other content that was as whacky and curated as they were, Katniss had agreed with herself that she would never become those people. She would always be separate from them and the TV was just one way to keep that distance.

She stripped herself of her clothes, let out her braid and hopped in the shower. Over her time in various fancy locations she had begun to figure out the system of hieroglyphics on the wall panel. Or so she thought. She pressed a number of buttons only to find instead of the shower turning on, the bathtub at her feet began to fill. A warm bath never hurt when trying to kill the time, she thought, so she pressed some other buttons that distributed soaps and oils and other good smelling things and allowed herself to gently drift down into the heat of the water. Baths never got cold here. There must have been some device that kept the water hot and circulating slowly because after 15 minutes all of the soaps and oils she had put in it had disappeared and she could see straight through the crystal clear water though the temperature remained a comforting level of warm. Looking down she could see her feet and her legs, she flexed her toes and wiggled them. She was much more substantial than she was before. Of course, it was relatively rare of her to have looked at herself before the games. Maybe once or twice a month she would take a look at her frame, her hair, but she had been forced to stare down her own image since she volunteered for the games so often that she noticed how much weight she had put on. She had the curves of someone who wasn't starving. The muscle on her legs were allowed nutrients and her calves were strong and sculpted. Her knees had been beaten up from hunting and little maintenance and she took a moment to give them extra care, trying to wash out the dirt that rested deeply inside the crevices of her flesh. She knew that her beauty team would certainly take care of it themselves the moment they got the opportunity to but it felt quite nice to be doing something for herself because she wants to, in an environment where so many of her actions were not her own choice.

After washing her hair and laying back into the tub for quite some time, Katniss felt herself drift off. The warmth was too much to stay awake in. She took the signal to get out of the bath, dry off and put on some of her incredibly fancy pajamas. A gray set of shorts and a button up shirt is what she chose (the buttons, she, thought, were so impractical) before turning off the lights and snuggling into her own sheets and drifting off. As sleep began to encroach on her she remembers the gentle sound of rain around the train, and for a moment she could convince herself she was back at home in district twelve, in her old house with a horrible roof and absolutely no one to answer to.

But her sleep only lasted a few hours. Another nightmare. After the arena, she had been riddled with them. Waking up in the middle of the night, sweating, screaming and it seemed like the only solace in all of this was him. The boy with the bread yet again providing her with the tools she needs to survive. Peeta. He was always found a way to be selfless, even when it didn't directly concern him he would go out of his way to help. I, she thought, can't be bothered to help just about anyone but myself and my family. Not even Peeta, who has saved me so many times.

So, when she woke up again tonight in the middle of the night, she knew he would be there. Like he always was. And just like that, he appeared in her doorway. Tired eyes and ruffled hair, his silken capitol pajamas looked right next to his recently plucked and primed skin. His prep team must have spent hours giving him that glow that may just be able to convince onlookers that his whole life has been easy. That he wasn't haunted by what happened in the arena. The glow that says I'm a young boy in love, willing to do crazy things for it. And who knows, it could be true.

Wordlessly, he climbed into bed with her. Brushing back her hair away from where it has clung to her sweat-drenched skin. Katniss couldn’t tell if it was still wet from the bath or soaked by how much she had sweat while thrashing. He pulls her to lay on his lap like they had done this many times before. They had done this before, every single night on this train during the victory tour had been hell for Katniss. Her mental wounds that had begun to scab over, the ones she had begun to forget, reopened just by indulging in the food, in the fancy showers, surrounded by these people in this place, how could she not remember those moments before the game? Moments that decided her fate, in a sense. The ones where Peeta mustered up all of the leverage he needed to convince the world he was in love with her. Taking in the way she spoke and acted, her favorite things, he acquired a portfolio of her that had saved his life. Saved her life. Saved the lives of the star crossed lovers from district twelve. A title both of them now was bound to for the rest of their natural lives and maybe even beyond. But he was with her now, brushing her hair back and as she was laying in his lap the thought crossed her mind, one that she had never experienced before, a question of if those feelings were real. Not to him, because she always had an inkling that all of those stories from the arena were the truth, but for her.

Her heart had been so closed off for so long. She never even considered what that would feel like. She didn't know how anyone would know what it would feel like. All she had time for before was her and her family, and all she had time for after was her family and the never-ending task of trying to piece together the shreds of herself that were broken to bits the moment she volunteered for the hunger games. But this train offered a limbo to all of that. Abundance, protection and being away from her family left her with little to do and years worth of pain to attempt to look at. It was difficult for Katniss to entertain the thought that maybe there was an option that wasn't pain. That in this world it didn't just have to be survival, maybe there could be something more.

Her hand ventured to feel the silk of his pant leg. A fabric she had never known before all of this, the soft texture slid between her fingers like water. During these nighttime meetings, Peeta and Katniss would often lay together in silence, physically together fighting the demons that waited for them to fall asleep to come to get them. On particularly bad nights, they would talk. About their dreams and problems and the future. But what never happened, ever, was what was happening right now. Casual, intimate touch with no intention but connection. Peeta seemed distraught by her, feeling his pajamas, her callused fingers touching the skin of his ankle. Not because he was displeased with the course of events, actually he quite liked what seemed to be Katniss coming out of her shell, the issue with this moment to Peeta is that he absolutely could not understand what it could mean. Why now? Of course, her fingers grazing his ankle was not quite equivalent to them actually having a conversation about their relationship, about their feelings towards one another, about anything apart from the games, but it was something more than she had ever given him before. A moment with just Katniss. Without the static of the past, of other people, of survival. This small gesture of affection was the purest look at Katniss he had ever received, and it sent chills up his spine.

Katniss sat up, cuddling up next to him in his seated position, placing her head on his shoulder. Like this, he could hear her breathing. Soft, hesitant, fully awake, it seemed like Katniss had given up the dream of sleep and instead had decided on being awake together until she changed her mind. This was not a rare occurrence either, after waking up from a nightmare like that Peeta could understand being wary of sleep. Often he didn't sleep for full days until he had to. Until just laying in a bed was enough for sleep to come over him.

This thought soon exited his mind when her hand timidly landed on his upper thigh. It lay there softly, almost as unconvinced as he was of what was happening right now. This was uncharted territory.

He considered trying to catch her eyes, to read what they were saying but he knew it was a long shot. Katniss was only read when she wanted to be, and at that moment, Peeta decided that whatever was happening right now, he would go with it. He would allow himself to be young, and reckless, and to allow himself to be taken by the whims of another person who, even if it was only briefly, was just as young and as reckless as himself.

They sat like that for a moment, breathing lightly. Waiting for something to occur to define the situation.

The room was dark, you almost couldn't see in front of you if it weren't for the small lights of technology scattered throughout the room. The closet with its menu waiting for you to select your outfit. The wall panel anticipating a food order. Little lights blinked throughout the darkness in front of them like constellations, keeping them in a state of near darkness. Saving them from the awkwardness that would befall either member was someone to reject whatever this situation is.

Katniss's hand moved across his lap to his left thigh. There, with a light touch, she located the place where his leg had been amputated and his prosthetic began. The capitol was capable of a lot when it came to medical science but they didn't quite put Peeta back together right. A large seam existed where his prosthetic began and his leg ended. He didn't have to remove the prosthetic, it was a permanent feature of him now. The pain of walking on it had subsided a few months after he had gotten practice moving with it. Upstairs, on to counters, what seemed impossible for him to do with it, in the beginning, was simple now. It was nearly apart of him except for that damn seam that screams accident. If this had been an aesthetic choice the cut would be precise. No dead flesh versus live flesh to choose from, the doctor would have made a perfect cut the first time and installed a new sleek leg, an option a surprising number of capital residents make. But his wasn't stylish, it was functional. It was meant to be lifted on and meant to be survived on. Though Peeta had lived in the upper echelons of the district twelve society, he knew hardly any of the wealth those people know who cut off their legs to get beautifully placed, delicately carved imitations installed. Peeta was rebuilt to survive. He had hoped he was done surviving when he exited the games.

Her fingers dug gently into the seam of his leg, feeling the slipperiness of the metal below his silken pajamas. It was almost nice, Peeta thought, to be felt honestly. The victors had their mental wounds ignored enough but with a prosthetic, Peeta had to be physically ignored as well. Early on, when he would clobber around on it like a giant trying to squash a village, he could tell when people would pretend not to notice. He always took note of who would pretend he wasn't taking a long time to walk upstairs. It seemed ingenuine. Like, by ignoring the symptom seemed to ignore the pain and the suffering that brought it on. Like they can see Peeta without seeing the games. He knew the two were entangled in everyone's minds. He couldn't blame them. The games took Peeta, chewed him up and left him a fraction of who he was physically and mentally. But Katniss wasn't pretending. She was feeling, truly, what had happened to him. In all its ugliness. Her hand slipping over his thigh was the most honest moment he had been able to experience since leaving the games and leaving behind Peeta Mellark in favor of Peeta, the winner of the 74th annual hunger games.

There was almost a twang of sadness in his chest when she removed her hand and lifted it up to his chest. Resting it on the buttons down his front, he knew that she could feel his heart beating too hard. She could feel how much harder it began to beat when she turned up her head and kissed him.

No cameras around. This was an intimacy they saved for themselves.

With this realization Peeta couldn't help but turn to her, placing his hand on the back of her neck through her hair and kissing her as they had never done in the games. Not sweetly, like young people in love, but hungrily. He kissed her because somewhere in his heart he suspected this opportunity would never reemerge. Not like this. He knew they were damned to each other but what they were doing right now was theirs. Their own form of rebellion. They were reclaiming the youth, the passion, the love that was taken from them in the name of strategy.

She returned the passion, slipping her hand from his chest down, to up beneath his shirt. Feeling his stomach and his pecs and all the parts of him she had never been able to touch like this.

They kissed like they hadn't seen each other in years. Like they wouldn't see each other again. Hands in hair and lips darting with abandon wherever they wanted, neck and cheek and lips, Katniss got on top of Peeta, straddling him, grinding down in a way she had never really felt the desire to.

Whatever the capital had taken from her, it wasn't this. It would never be this.

His large hands felt warm against the nape of her neck, controlling. She wasn't scared for him to be in charge if she couldn't trust Peeta who could she trust, but what she wasn't going to do was give up control that easily. She ground into him until she could feel the blood start to rush to an area that had always been sacred, that she had refused to encounter until this point. She ground into him, rocking back and forth gently until he pulled away from their kiss to let a moan escape through his lips. It was small, scared as if them making a sound during all of this would break the fantasy, but it didn't. It lit a fire in her that she had never felt before.

One of his hands stayed on the back of her neck, pulling her back into the kiss while the other ventured up her shirt, landing on her waist, skin to skin. That contact was enough to send tingles all over her.  
They were hungry for one another. Fighting constantly to control the way the kiss was going, the speed and length and passion. They were in this together but they weren't a team, they were two individuals benefiting from the same acts. They kissed ravenously, grinding into one another. Letting gentle moans escape them for the first time in their lives. Being seen and seeing each other.

Peeta's hand slipped further up Katniss's shirt. Slowly, trailing his warm fingers against her cooled flesh, his hand approached her chest. With no bra on it felt only natural for him to gently cup her breast, about a handful for him, and his warmth began to seep into her. He played with her, gently cupping and squeezing her bare breast. Carefully and intentionally grazing over the nipple when the feeling would suit him when it would suit the current mood of their kisses. She loved it. Grinding into him deeply when he would touch her like that, the sheer intimacy of it enough for her to enjoy it on top of the physical pleasure that it brought her made her need it. Crave it. She took it upon herself to unbutton her shirt, moving his other hand to her exposed chest so that he could play with that one too. She let her head fall back in a gentle moan, enjoying the warmth and strength of his hands, and Peeta took the opportunity to assault her neck with kisses. Under her chin and her jugular, the sheer exposure of allowing someone's teeth so close to her vital veins was enough to get her blood pumping, but the softness of his lips, the intention behind them as they smothered her with affection, caused her to moan, to soften, to give in to his leadership for the moment and just accept the carnal enjoyment that he was providing her.

He laid her down on the bed slowly, sweeping one of his hands behind her back to place her down. With Peeta now on top, he could do whatever he wanted to her. So he began kissing her neck again. And slowly, more slowly than she could ever have imagined, he worked his way downward.

He tried to hide how nervous this was making him. How new it was to him. Going slow allowed him time to think. He kissed down her neck, to her collarbone, to her breasts, taking them in his mouth passionately. It only took him this long to realize that this tedious pace he had picked up was driving Katniss crazy. Removing the friction between her legs, she was entirely reliant on him to give her what she wanted. What he wanted, too. But, simply the fact that she would willingly give up control to him made blood stir in his boxers. He slowed down even more. Kissing around her nipple, his large hands on her ribs, he waited so long that Katniss was whimpering below him, on the verge of begging. He took her nipple into his mouth and groped her breast with his hand, she let out a sigh of relief. Not total relief, but a small grateful sigh that screamed: "please, more."

After lauding her other beautiful breast with his mouth, he moved down even further. Kissing her ribs, her bellybutton, her hip bones. All around the waistband of her pajamas. She was squirming, but he wasn't going to give up so easily this time. He wanted to make it count, to enjoy the control and the trust that was radiating between them. He removed her pants to reveal a modest pair of underwear underneath. Black. Basic. He kissed along its waistline slowly, allowing his hot breath to tease her colder skin. Then he moved to her legs. Starting on the left, he kissed her upper thigh, right where her panties ended, and then down its center. Sloppily, needily, he kissed until he got to her knee. Further away than she wanted, far further. What Katniss wanted was something she hardly dared to think about. His lips moved to her inner knee and then up the inside of her thigh. Quickly first, covering a lot of ground, and then gradually more slowly, until he got to the part of her inner thigh closest to her panties. So close she was about to throw a fit if he took any longer. He kissed all around the area and slowly he closed in on the line that her underwear drew. He kissed along that too until his mouth was so close to that part of her that she couldn't take it. And then he began the same process on the other side. When his mouth made it there, to the edge of a part of herself that she had kept private for so long, she finally broke.

If you weren't listening closely you wouldn't hear it. So softly, unable to come to terms with it herself, Katniss let out a gentle "please."

He heard it. Clear as day. In the dark, silent room it was impossible not to. But still, Peeta urged her on.

"What did you say?" He tilted his head in a playful curiosity, placing his hot breath just over the part of herself that was so craving attention.

She swallowed hard. Weighing her options. But there was a voice deep inside of her, one that she may have never heard before, definitely never heard this loudly, that compelled her to speak up. To give in to the situation.

"Please," she said much more clearly this time. Her hands gripped the sheets on the bed desperately. Her body squirmed, unable to contain all of the pent up desire that Peeta had incited inside of it.

He hardly waited any time. With a subtle smile on his face, not even removing her panties, Peeta placed his mouth over the crotch of her underwear, applying pressure and heat to the zone that so desperately craved his touch. Katniss sighed with relief. Suddenly, the game was on.


	2. Chapter 2

The wetness of his tongue against her drove her into a mild frenzy. Katniss had tasted blood and she wanted more. She placed her hand on the back of his head, keeping him from pulling away and she ground herself into his face, discovering again that sweet friction that she craved. Peeta didn't realize he could be this turned on. Her taking control like this, in this situation, was more fantastical than anything he had ever imagined before. It was beyond a wild fantasy, having the girl he had been infatuated with need him in such a physical and immediate way. He couldn't help but to reach his hand up and pull her panties to the side, revealing just how soaked she had become. He placed his mouth back when her whimpers demanded it, keeping her panties in place with his hand, sucking gently on the nub that he believed to be her clit. He wasn't quite sure because it had been a long time since sex ed, in district 12 they taught it in schools and occasionally the real non-propaganda fact was slipped in by well-meaning teachers. He appreciated that in this moment, and what he had heard from his older brothers throughout the years of lewd boys talk when they were playing on the street or baking alone for the bakery. It had been so long since then, at least he felt like he had, but his tongue honed in on her clit like it was natural to him. Sucking gently, playing with it with the flat of his tongue, she bucked against him, needing more. Demanding more.

They continued like this, a back and forth of action, desire, lust until she couldn't take it anymore. She pulled him up to him, kissing him deeply, tasting herself on his lips. Her hand slipped down the front of his pants, placing her hand on his member and he moaned.

For a moment she played with that fact. Eliciting sounds from him. She pulled back from the kiss to make eye contact with him, catching his clear blue eyes with hers. The need that Peeta felt was palpable, and she felt it too. The need to be touched, to touch each other, to be as close as possible. She let herself bite her lip as the sounds he made awakened her. It woke up a desire that she was afraid to ask for.

"I want you... inside of me," she said, more hesitantly than before. Afraid the words would break the magical spell that was making all of this possible, that kept this moment in an untouchable bubble.

Not only that but Katniss had never spoken words like that. She had hardly ever even thought them. The concept of love and sex was so far back in her brain, she had spent so many years of her life walking the line between death and life she was never allowed to live. But that version of her was dead, and this moment was her way of driving the knife deeper into her heart. She wasn't starving, she wasn't living day to day, this wasn't the arena. Katniss had made the decision that she was, if just for the night, unbreaking.

So Peeta pulled off his pajamas, throwing them to the side and revealing all of him that was left. She too took off her underwear and threw them to the side.

This wasn't an entirely insane thing for them to be doing. When young men hit puberty they are often implanted with a birth control device that could be turned on and off at will. This system was implemented to avoid overpopulation in districts that couldn't afford other forms of birth control. At this moment he was eternally grateful for centuries of forethought that validated the fact that teens will always be teens.

They aligned with each other, preparing with nervousness and excitement to do something both of them had never done. Maybe something both of them had gone into the arena thinking they would never do. The head of his cock could feel her heat as he grazed up and down the length of her sex. Slowly, he began to nudge inside of her, praying to some distant God that she was seeing this as him teasing her instead of something he felt he had to do to last any length of time. He leaned down, kissing her neck gently, grazing his teeth hesitantly over her pulse. And slowly, so slowly, he pushed into her.

They both sighed openly when he pressed fully into her. They locked eyes, both wearing the biggest smiles of joy and connection, and kissed. Differently than before. Not hungry, this kiss was about connection. An acknowledgment of what they were doing. He tried to pick up a rhythm but hesitated. It felt too good, he knew he had to be careful. After a few moments of hesitation, he picked back up slowly, pressing himself into her and then pulling out, hearing her moan. Kissing her neck like his life depended on it to keep from ending this too soon, he could feel her wanting more. Pulling at his back to pull him inside of her, trying everything in her power to increase the movement. She pulled him back into a kiss and without words he understood the degree of her want. They were sharing something nice but Katniss wanted more than just nice.

Their lips disconnected and Katniss forced Peeta to his back. For a moment he was shocked, not entirely sure what was happening between them. Then she climbed on top of him, straddling his erection, and slipping it back inside of her.

Finally, in control again, she became acquainted with her abilities. Moving slowly up, down, finding what felt good, rocking forward, hand placement, slowly cataloging her findings. Once she got a handle on it she began finding a rhythm, one hand on Peeta's exposed chest, the other on her own bare breast, holding it as she rocked up and down, trying to find that perfect angle.

Below her, Peeta was twisting. His teeth sinking harshly into his own lip, hand grasping at the sheets, trying to avoid the inevitable. Seeing her like this, so wild and free, was just driving him crazy. The way she moved on his body was fluid and carnal, up and down, her moans were often and they were honest. The way she touched herself was intoxicating.

She had found a good rhythm, adding her hand between her thighs (in that place Peeta had given special attention to) and there was something building inside of her. A warmth that was growing slowly. Peeta looked like he could barely hang on, but when it began building higher, more aggressively she couldn't bring herself to stop and give him a break, she just had to keep going.

His left hand met her thigh, maybe in an attempt to hold her down or maybe in an attempt to increase her speed. He was there.

"Katniss I'm gonna-"

She didn't stop. She was close too. So as he reached his climax and threw his head back in a flurry of lust and pleasure and closeness, Katniss continued until she came as well. Her hair a mess and her body sweaty. She laid down next to him, content and tired, and snuggled up to his chest.

Even though it was short and sometimes awkward, Katniss and Peeta both couldn’t help but feel that that had been the most honest interaction they had ever had. Maybe with anyone. They both bared themselves and came out, in the end, feeling not dirty like they may have thought but cleansed. Cleansed, maybe briefly, of the parts of them that demanded they be more than teenagers. For a moment they were just two kids in something like love laying together hoping that when they wake up maybe the world would seem a little brighter.

They had gone through so much together already, and the future held more than they could even imagine, but this moment that they shared was always theirs. As Katniss sunk deeper into his arms and into sleep, she knew somewhere inside of her had awakened a new fire, maybe one that would allow her to become something she had never needed to before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it! I may write more bc I just want Katniss and Peeta to be happy and I guess the only way i can have that is in fanfiction.

**Author's Note:**

> If you see any errors/want to beta chapter 2, let me know!
> 
>  
> 
> So I think in the book these characters are around consenting age/consenting age but I tagged it underage just in case? But here's a gentle PSA that if you are an underage person consuming this content the interactions shown in this fanfic should not serve as pressure for you to do anything you don't want to do with anyone you don't want to do it with. Fanfiction historically has served as a tool for pedophiles to groom young people so please be aware of why you're reading this and do not let it normalize the idea in your mind of you being a sexual being if you don't want to be. Also, minors, don't have sexual relationships with people significantly older than you, you're not mature for your age they're just a pedophile. If you want to talk more about this feel free to comment and I'd love to talk about it.


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